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3 Things People Don’t Tell You About Marriage

Marriage is a wonderful, messy, beautiful thing. I have been happily married for just over two years, so I don’t consider myself to be an expert at all. The more I learn, the more I realize I know nothing.

The day I got married, I made some really important promises to my husband in front of everyone we know and love, and before God. I didn’t fully understand what I was promising to do or to be, and the more time I spend learning to be a better wife, the more I realize just how significant those promises are.

Marriage won’t make you happy

If you are unhappy before you get married, you will be unhappy in your marriage. If you are lonely, insecure, anxious or selfish, those things won’t change just because you’re married.

This may come as a shock to some, but you aren’t getting married so you can be happy. And if you are, you’re in for a surprise.

Tyler Ward from Relevant Magazine says it best:

“I’m intensely certain that nothing in life has ever made me more angry, frustrated or annoyed than my wife. Inevitably, just when I think I’ve given all I can possibly give, she somehow finds a way to ask for more. 

The worst part of it all is that her demands aren’t unreasonable. One day she expects me to stay emotionally engaged. The next, she’s looking for me to validate the way that she feels. The list goes on – but never ventures far from things she perfectly well deserves as a wife.”

Something I am slowly learning is to put my husband’s needs before my own. It’s not easy. Sometimes it’s really hard and I am reminded of how selfish I am. But it is so rewarding. It’s funny how serving someone else without expecting anything in return is so satisfying.

There is no Plan B

In marriage, you are stuck with each other forever. Till death. That sounds pretty dark, but it is beautiful. When there is no Plan B, you’re telling someone that no matter how much they fail you and hurt you, they are stuck with you. There is nothing your person can do to scare you.

Wrapping your mind around the fact that you are committing to a lifetime of loving, serving and doing life with the same person means never uttering the “d” word. It means you don’t say or do things that will damage the marriage you should be striving to protect.

Those vows you will share on your wedding day are really important. You are committing to make your marriage work no matter what.

If your spouse doesn’t make you happy anymore, Plan B means that someone else might. In marriage, Plan B prevents you from fully committing to one another with everything you are.

Conflict doesn’t mean things are bad

In every relationship, there will be conflict. Conflict is inevitable and it’s normal.

For some reason we put marriage into a different category. When conflict arises and couples begin to argue, we start to think something might be wrong. We start to think that our marriage might be dysfunctional.

The truth is, conflict happens. It’s how we handle conflict that makes the difference. It’s totally possible to handle conflict in a way that honours each other and works towards a common goal.

When you know that conflict is normal, you’ll be slow to anger and quick to forgive. You’ll aim to be the first person to say sorry.

Getting married soon? You’ve probably already spent hours planning your wedding day, and now it’s time to start preparing for marriage. This marriage preparation event is designed to provide you with important tools that will build a strong, loving and fulfilling marriage.

Guest speakers, Phil and Dale Hartmann, have been happily married for over 37 years and have been running a marriage preparation course from their home. These two experts will teach you how to communicate effectively and resolve conflict in a way that brings you closer together.

In addition, you’ll be receiving some helpful and practical advice on marriage contracts from our friends at Gunstons.

Event details:

Monday 28 August

17:30 for 18:00

Sostanza, Lakeside

Three course meal and beverages included.

For more information, please fill in the form below:

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